Jane was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp, only to discover a cucumber in his hand.

"Is this what you've been using on me for the past five years?" she asked.

"Honey, let me explain!" he protested.

"Why, you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a --"

"Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted, "Maybe you'd care to explain our three kids!"