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Bad Mouth Parrot *** 

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A man and a parrot are friends. The parrot swears like a sailor. He can swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is, the man who owns him is a quiet, polite, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.

One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the parrot by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" This just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.

Then, the man says, "Okay for you," and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches. When the man finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the man is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes and uses words Lenny Bruce and George Carlin never thought about trying to use in their acts.

Then suddenly, it gets very quiet.

At first the man just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt or deeply chilled. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."

The man is astonished. He can't understand the transformation that has taken place.

Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

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