An 85-year-old couple married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last 10 years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion that was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite, and Jacuzzi.

As they "oohed" and "aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next, they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day. Each week, the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.

The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"

"This is heaven, you play for free," Peter replied.

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch of various cuisines laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven. It's free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.

"That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven," Peter explained.

With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, shrieking wildly.

Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"