Late one night, an alien spacecraft landed near a deserted gas station. After a bit, one of the aliens came down the ramp, looked around, and walked over to one of the gas pumps, where he demanded, "Earthling. Take me to you leader!" The gas pump, of course, did not reply. The alien became agitated and again demanded, "Take me to your leader!" The gas pump remained silent.

Frustrated, the alien went back to the spacecraft where he was confronted by the captain. "Report!" the captain demanded.

"I contacted an earthling. He would not cooperate," said the alien.

"Hmmmm. I will deal with this earthling myself," the captain said.

"Yes, Sir. Be careful, Sir. I have a feeling there could be trouble," the alien replied.

The captain left the ship and approached the gas pump. "Earthling, you will cooperate. Take me to your leader." The gas pump remained unresponsive. "If you do not respond by the count of three, I shall be forced to fire on you. One. Two. Three."

ZZZZZZZZT! WHAM! The gas pump exploded, knocking the alien over. The captain jumped up and got back to his ship as fast as he could. "Quickly! Make ready to depart!" he shouted.

"Yes, Sir. What happened, Sir?" the alien questioned.

"I fired on the earthling and it responded very forcefully."

"Sorry Sir, I was afraid that might happen."

"How did you know that there would be trouble?" asked the captain.

"Well, Sir, I assumed that anyone who can take his whatzit, wrap it around his feet, and stick it in his left ear is probably going to be one tough bastard."