After years of his wife's pleading, a good ol' boy finally went with her to a little local church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out, he stopped to shake the preacher's hand.

He said, "Reverend, that was the best gawddamn sermon I ever did hear!"

The preacher replied, "Oh! Why, thank you, sir, but please... I'd appreciate it if you didn't use the Lord's name in vain!"

The man said, "I'm sorry, reverend, but I can't help myself. It was a good gawddamn sermon!"

The reverend said, "Sir, please, I cannot have you behaving this way at church!"

The man said, "Okay, reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so gawddamn good, I put $500 in the collection plate!"

The reverend said, "No shit?!"