A knock-out young lady decided that she wanted to get rich quick. She found herself a rich, 73-year-old man with the intention of screwing him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem in spite of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his twelve-inch erection. He was also carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of noseplugs.

Fearing that her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"

The elderly gentleman replied, "There are just two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber."