A Texan walks into a bar in northern Scotland. As usual, he is loud and obnoxious, but he buys everyone a drink. He ends up chatting to Tam the farmer.

"You know, son, I have a farm back in Texas, and I can get on my tractor and drive all day in an easterly direction; and by sun down, I still won't have reached the boundary of my property..."

Tam grins and says, "Aye, I have a tractor like that, too!"