A woman's husband died at sea, and she received his parrot as the sole possession by which to remember him. Even though the parrot was foul-mouthed, she put up with it for sentimental reasons.

After several unsuccessful months trying to coerce the parrot to change his "sailor" ways, she finally issued him an ultimatum: "I'm having the bridge club over today, and if one swear word is heard in the room, I'm going to feed you to the cat!"

The parrot mulled this over and decided that he had better start reforming lest he become kitty fare.

Later that day, the ladies started showing up. Unfortunately, one very large, elderly, snobbish woman sat down right by the corner where the parrot's cage was.

After a few hands of cards, there was a refreshment break, and the conversation really started getting heavy. The parrot didn't care much for the conversation or the attitude of the lady. The more she talked, the more he got twinges to do something to get rid of her.

Finally, the parrot had had it and said, "Whore boat leavin' for China at two o'clock!"

The woman looked up and said, "Well! I never!" then she stood up and headed for the door.

Everyone was frozen in their seats, when the parrot yelled after her, "Hey! Where are you goin'? Boat don't leave till two!"