The Scottish bus driver was giving a tour of Scotland to a group of tourists. The tour went through the countryside, and the driver would point out sites of interest.

He drove by one area and said, "Over there is where the Scottish pulverized the English."

They drove on a little further, and the driver pointed to another area along the roadway and said, "This is the place where the Scottish massacred the English.

Not much further down the road, the driver told his passengers that on the right was a great battlefield where the Scottish whipped the English.

About that time, a man on the bus with a stiff English accent said, "My good man, didn't the English win any battles around here?"

The bus driver responded, "Not while I'm driving the bus."