An upset, older gentleman goes to see his doctor, an old friend.

He says, "Doc, my life is over!"

The doctor says, "Hold on, Bill, what's the trouble?"

"Well, Jane left me last week, and I'm just miserable. You see, I haven't been able to perform sexually for quite some time, and I have no reason to live anymore."

The doctor says, "Relax, Bill. I think I can take care of your problem. I've been testing a new experimental drug for impotency and have had some really positive results. Let me give you a sample to try."

Bill says, "Thanks, doc. I'd love to try them, but since Jane left, I have no one to try them with!"

The doctor says, "Here's the phone number of a couple of professional gals I know who specialize in this type of problem. Give them a call, and I think we can get you all fixed up. And remember, take no more than one pill every two hours, as they are quite powerful."

Bill leaves and comes back the next morning, really excited.

"Doc! Those pills are fantastic! I was an animal last night. I couldn't stop. I must have had 14 orgasms. I'm still hard, but it's really sore. I need some more of those pills, because I took all of them. By the way, do you have any kind of liniment for a sore muscle?"

The doctor says, "Whoa! Wait a minute, slow down. First of all, I'm glad that the pills worked, but I warned you not to overdo it. Second, I do have some rubbing liniment for sore muscles, but you don't want to put it on your penis; it will burn like crazy!"

Bill says, "No, it's not for my penis, doc, it's for my arm -- those two girls never showed up."