A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. Everyone in the crowd laughs at him, calls him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus cannot play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just ripping it up. So the man pays him $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays him $50. Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down, and the octopus fumbles with them for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.

"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can't you play it?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to fuck it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."