A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.

"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening. The machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later, the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed it in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he had ever received in his life.

Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures -- 25 cents."

"Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives -- 50 cents."

The salesman was embarrassed and looked both ways. Seeing nobody around, he put in fifty cents, unzipped his pants, and stuck his "thing" into the opening (with great anticipation, since he had been away from his wife for two weeks).

When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony. Fifteen seconds later, it shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his "thingy"...

Which now had a button sewed on the tip.