A maintenance team of two from Telecom Australia worked in the outback of Australia. When fixing a solar cell powered Telecom phone booth, a guy had to have a wee-wee. He pulled his willie out and started to wee-wee in the bush. His action startled a rattlesnake in the bush. The snake swiftly bit the tip of his part.

The guy was so shocked and pained that he yelled, "Hey, come on quick. I've been bitten by a snake. Help! Help!"
His mate ran fast and checked his wound and found that the swollen part had two small holes bleeding at its forehead. Since he just didn't know what to do, he ran to the booth and called the local flying doctor at Alice Spring.
"G'day mate, I am from Telecom working near Wollomoro. My work mate was bitten by a rattlesnake in the outback. He is in a lot of pain. What I can do about it?"

"Where are you?"

"We are 150 miles, 25 degrees southeast of Alice Spring."

"Rightdoo, a doctor will come to where you are. It will take us an hour. In the meantime, since the rattlesnake is very poisonous, you have to help your mate to take the poison out, or else he won't make it until we arrive."

"What shall I do?"

"You just use your pair of lips, tightly, I mean tightly to engulf his wound and suck hard, but don't swallow the poison... Do it quick. We are leaving to your place now." Then he hung up.

...

When he walked back to where his mate lay and looked at the guy's swollen part, the guy in pain asked eagerly, "What did the flying doctor say?? Tell me, tell me."

"Sorry mate, they say you're going to die..."


Jokemaster's note: There are no rattlesnakes in Autralia.