A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a good-looking woman, when he starts to look at his watch. The woman notices and asks him if his date is late.

"No," he replies. "I've just got this new state-of-the-art watch and was just about to test it."

"What does it do?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me."

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing a bra or panties."

"Ha! Well it must be broken, because I am!"

"Darn thing must be an hour fast."