When April and I first met, it wasn't exactly love at first sight. I mean, I'm not God's gift to women, and she's a pretty good-looking babe.

So our first conversation took place in a bar in Atlanta.

I went over to her and said, "Hey, baby, can I buy you a drink?"

She slowly turned around, cocked her head to the side, and, in the slow southern drawl she has, said, "Tell me, big boy, do you like sex?"

"Why, yeah, of course!"

She nodded and put her hand on my chest. "Do you like to travel?"

"Yes, ma'am. Yes, I do."

"Good, then take a fucking hike."